How Women Mostly Cares for Dementia Family Members
alzheimer's disease & dementia
Alzheimer's and Dementia Care: Help for Family Caregivers
Caring for someone with Alzheimer's disease or dementia? This guide volition help yous cope with the challenges at each phase, notice the support you lot need, and reap the rewards of caregiving.
The Alzheimer's and dementia intendance journey
Caring for someone with Alzheimer's disease or some other type of dementia can be a long, stressful, and intensely emotional journeying. But you're not lone. In the United States, there are more than sixteen million people caring for someone with dementia, and many millions more effectually the world. Equally there is currently no cure for Alzheimer's or dementia, it is often your caregiving and back up that makes the biggest difference to your loved ane's quality of life. That is a remarkable gift.
However, caregiving can too become all-consuming. Every bit your loved one's cognitive, physical, and functional abilities gradually diminish over time, information technology's like shooting fish in a barrel to become overwhelmed, disheartened, and fail your own health and well-beingness. The burden of caregiving can put you lot at increased chance for significant health bug and many dementia caregivers experience depression, high levels of stress, or even burnout. And nearly all Alzheimer's or dementia caregivers at some time experience sadness, anxiety, loneliness, and exhaustion. Seeking assist and support along the way is not a luxury; it'due south a necessity.
Just as each individual with Alzheimer's disease or dementia progresses differently, so too can the caregiving experience vary widely from person to person. However, in that location are strategies that tin assist yous as a caregiver and assist make your caregiving journey as rewarding as it is challenging.
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The challenges and rewards of Alzheimer's intendance
Caring for a person with Alzheimer'southward disease or dementia tin can often seem to exist a serial of grief experiences equally you spotter your loved one'southward memories disappear and skills erode. The person with dementia volition modify and behave in dissimilar, sometimes agonizing or upsetting ways. For both caregivers and their patients, these changes can produce an emotional wallop of defoliation, frustration, and sadness.
As the illness advances through the different stages, your loved one's needs increment, your caregiving and financial responsibilities become more challenging, and the fatigue, stress, and isolation tin become overwhelming. At the same time, the power of your loved 1 to show appreciation for all your hard piece of work only diminishes. Caregiving tin literally seem similar a thankless task.
[Read: Family Caregiving]
For many, though, a caregiver'southward journeying includes not only huge challenges, just also many rich, life-affirming rewards.
Caregiving is a pure expression of beloved. Caring for a person with Alzheimer's or dementia connects you lot on a deeper level. If you were already close, it tin bring you closer. If you weren't shut before, information technology can help you resolve differences, find forgiveness, and build new, warmer memories with your family fellow member.
It changes your perspective on life. The act of caregiving can help you appreciate your own life more. Many people find that their priorities alter later. The piffling, day-to-twenty-four hours worries that in one case seemed and so important seem to fade abroad and they're able to focus on the things that are really meaningful in life.
Provides purpose. Caring for someone with Alzheimer's or dementia makes you feel needed and valued. It tin can too add together structure and meaning to your life. Each day yous're making a huge difference in someone's life, even if they're no longer able to acknowledge information technology or limited their gratitude.
Adds a sense of accomplishment. Learning new skills and coping techniques tin can heave your confidence and overcoming new challenges tin improve your problem-solving skills. Attending back up groups can also broaden your social network and help you class new, rewarding relationships.
Caregiving can teach younger family members the importance of caring, compassion, and acceptance. Caregiving for someone with dementia is such a selfless human activity. Despite the stress, demands, and heartache, it tin can bring out the best in us to serve as function models for our children.
Caregiving in the early on stages of Alzheimer'southward or dementia
In the early on stages of Alzheimer's affliction or some other blazon of dementia, your loved one may not need much caregiving assistance. Rather, your role initially may be to help them come to terms with their diagnosis, plan for the future, and stay as active, healthy, and engaged as possible.
Have the diagnosis. Accepting a dementia diagnosis tin be simply as difficult for family members equally it for the patient. Let yourself and your loved one fourth dimension to procedure the news, transition to the new situation, and grieve your losses. But don't allow denial prevent you from seeking early intervention.
[Read: Coping with an Alzheimer'due south or Dementia Diagnosis]
Deal with conflicting emotions. Feelings of anger, frustration, atheism, grief, denial, and fear are common in the early on stages of Alzheimer'south or dementia—for both the patient and you, the caregiver. Permit your loved i express what they're feeling and encourage them to go along pursuing activities that add meaning and purpose to their life. To deal with your own fears, doubts, and sadness, detect others you tin can confide in.
Make utilize of bachelor resources. There are a wealth of community and online resources to help you provide effective care on this journey. Start by finding the Alzheimer's Clan in your state (meet links below). These organizations offering practical support, helplines, advice, and training for caregivers and their families. They tin too put yous in touch with local support groups.
Learn all you can about your loved one's dementia. While everyone's experiences of Alzheimer'southward or dementia are dissimilar, the more y'all learn about the condition and how information technology's probable to progress, the amend you'll be able to prepare for future challenges, reduce your frustration, and foster reasonable expectations. There are also books, workshops, and online training resources that tin teach caregiving skills.
Prepare for the route alee. With your support, your loved one may be able to maintain their independence and live solitary in the early stages of dementia. However, their cognitive and concrete regression means they volition ultimately require around-the-clock aid. Putting plans for their future housing and care in place now can help reduce stress in the hereafter, enable your loved ane to be involved in the decision-making process, and ensure their legal, financial, and healthcare wishes are respected.
Preserving your loved i'due south independence
Take steps to slow the progression of symptoms. While treatments are bachelor for some symptoms, lifestyle changes can likewise be effective weapons in slowing down the affliction'due south progression. Exercising, eating and sleeping well, managing stress, and staying mentally and socially active are amongst the steps that tin ameliorate encephalon wellness and ho-hum the procedure of deterioration. Making healthy lifestyle changes alongside your loved i can also aid protect your own wellness and counter the stress of caregiving.
[Read: Preventing Alzheimer's Affliction and Dementia—or Slowing its Progress]
Assistance with short-term memory loss. In the early on stages, your loved one may need prompts or reminders to help them remember appointments, call up words or names, keep track of medications, or manage bills and money, for case. To aid your loved ane maintain their independence, instead of just taking over every chore yourself, endeavour to piece of work together every bit a partnership. Let your loved ane indicate when they want help remembering a word, for case, or agree to bank check their calculations before paying bills. Encourage them to apply a notebook or smartphone to create reminders to go on on hand.
Caregiving in the middle stages of Alzheimer's or dementia
As your loved one's Alzheimer'southward disease or dementia symptoms progress, they'll crave more and more care—and you lot'll need more and more than back up as their caregiver. Your loved one will gradually feel more extensive memory loss, may get lost in familiar settings, no longer be able to drive, and fail to recognize friends and family. Their defoliation and rambling speech communication can brand communicating more of a challenge and they may experience agonizing mood and beliefs changes forth with sleep issues.
Yous'll demand to take on more responsibilities as your loved ane loses independence, provide more aid with the activities of daily living, and find ways of coping with each new challenge. Balancing these tasks with your other responsibilities requires attending, planning, and lots of back up.
Ask for help. Y'all cannot do it all alone. It's important to reach out to other family members, friends, or volunteer organizations to help with the daily burden of caregiving. Schedule frequent breaks throughout the day to pursue your hobbies and interests and stay on top of your own wellness needs. This is not being neglectful or disloyal to your loved i. Caregivers who take regular time away not only provide better care, they too notice more satisfaction in their caretaking roles.
Join a support group. Yous'll exist able to learn from the experiences of others who have faced the same challenges. Connecting with others who know first-hand what you're going through can also help reduce feelings of isolation, fear, and hopelessness.
Sources of caregiver support
In-habitation help ranges from a few hours a week of caregiving assistance to live-in help, depending on your needs and what you tin beget. Yous can besides hire assistance for basic tasks like housekeeping, shopping, or other errands to free you up to provide more focused care for your loved one.
Developed day care offers activities and socialization opportunities for your loved i and the chance for you to keep working or attend to other needs. Look for adult day care programs that specialize in dementia care.
Respite care gives you a block of time as a caregiver to residue, travel, or attend to other things. Enlist friends and family who alive virtually you to run errands, bring a hot meal, or watch the patient then you tin take a well-deserved break. Volunteers or paid assistance tin can besides provide in-home respite services. Or you can explore out-of-dwelling respite programs such equally adult solar day care centers and nursing homes.
Make time for reflection
At each new stage of dementia, you take to alter your expectations most what your loved one is capable of. By accepting each new reality and taking time to reflect on these changes, you can better cope with the emotional loss and find greater satisfaction in your caregiving role.
Keep a daily periodical to record and reflect on your experiences. By writing down your thoughts, y'all tin can mourn losses, gloat successes, and claiming negative thought patterns that bear on your mood and outlook.
Count your blessings. It may sound counterintuitive in the midst of such challenges, but keeping a daily gratitude list tin can help chase abroad the blues. It tin too help you focus on what your loved one is nevertheless capable of, rather than the abilities they've lost.
Value what is possible. In the middle stages of dementia, your loved ane still has many abilities. Construction activities to invite their participation on whatever level is possible. By valuing what your loved one is able to give, y'all can find pleasure and satisfaction on fifty-fifty the toughest days.
[Read: Surviving Tough Times by Building Resilience]
Improve your emotional awareness. Remaining engaged, focused, and calm in the midst of such tremendous responsibility can challenge even the almost capable caregivers. By developing your emotional awareness skills, however, you lot tin can relieve stress, feel positive emotions, and bring new peace and clarity to your caretaking function.
Develop helpful daily routines
Having general daily routines and activities can provide a sense of consistency for an Alzheimer'southward or dementia patient and help ease the demands of caregiving. Of course, as your loved one'southward ability to handle tasks deteriorates, yous'll need to update and revise these routines.
Keep a sense of structure and familiarity. Attempt to go along consistent daily times for activities such as waking up, mealtimes, dressing, receiving visitors, and bedtime. Keeping these things at the same time and place tin help orientate the person with dementia. Use cues to constitute the different times of day—opening the curtains in the morning, for example, or playing soothing music at night to indicate bedtime.
Involve your loved one in daily activities as much as they're able. For example, they may not exist able to tie their shoes, only may be able to put wearing apparel in the hamper. Clipping plants in the g may non be safe, but they may be able to weed, plant, or water.
Vary activities to stimulate different senses—sight, smell, hearing, and touch—and motility. For example, you can effort singing songs, telling stories, dancing, walking, or tactile activities such every bit painting, gardening, or playing with pets.
Spend time outdoors. Going for a drive, visiting a park, or taking a curt walk can be very therapeutic. Even just sitting outside can be relaxing.
Detect group activities designed specifically for those with Alzheimer'south or dementia. Senior centers, community centers, or adult day care programs often host these types of activities.
Programme visitors and social events at times when your loved one can all-time handle them. Excessive activity or stimulation at the wrong time of mean solar day may be also much to handle. Offering communication tips if visitors seem uncertain or suggest they bring memorabilia your loved i may like, such as favorite books or music.
Cope with changes in advice
As your loved one's Alzheimer's or dementia progresses, you'll notice changes in how they communicate. They may accept trouble finding words, substitute 1 discussion for another, repeat the same things over and over, or become easily confused. Increased hand gestures, losing their train of thought, and even inappropriate outbursts are all common too.
Fifty-fifty if your loved 1 has trouble maintaining a conversation—or less interest in starting one—it's important to encourage social interaction. Making them experience safe rather than stressed will make communication easier, then endeavor to manage your own frustration levels.
Exist patient. If your loved one has difficulty recalling a discussion, for example, allow them fourth dimension. Getting anxious or impatient volition only inhibit their recollect. Gently supply the discussion or tell the person that you can come up back to information technology afterward.
Exist enlightened of your trunk language. Your loved one responds to your facial expression, tone of voice, and nonverbal cues as much as the words yous choose. Brand centre contact, stay calm, and go on a relaxed, open posture.
Speak slowly and conspicuously. Requite one management or ask ane question at a time, utilise short sentences, and give your loved 1 more time to process what'south existence said. Find a simpler manner to say the same matter if it wasn't understood the first fourth dimension.
Avert questions that claiming curt-term retention, such every bit "Practice you lot call up what nosotros did last night?" The answer will likely be "no," which can be humiliating for someone with Alzheimer's or dementia.
Maintain respect. Don't use patronizing language, "baby talk", or sarcasm. It tin crusade hurt or confusion.
Accept a curt suspension if you feel your fuse getting short. Endeavour using quick stress relief to at-home down and regain your balance.
| Do'southward and Don'ts for Talking to Someone with Dementia |
| DO . . . |
| Tell your loved 1 who you are if there appears to exist whatsoever doubt. |
| Listen attentively. Avoid distractions such as the Tv set or your cell phone and focus your attention on your loved one. |
| Use distraction or fib if telling the whole truth will upset the person. For instance, to answer the question, "Where is my mother?" it may be better to say, "She'southward non hither right now," instead of "She died 20 years agone." |
| Use repetition as much as necessary. Exist prepared to say the aforementioned things over and over as the person can't recollect them for more than than a few minutes at a fourth dimension. |
| DON'T . . . |
| Say things like: "Exercise you remember?" "Try to remember!" "Did you forget?" "How could you not know that?!" |
| Bespeak out the person's memory difficulty. Avoid remarks such as "I merely told you that." Instead, just echo information technology once again and again. |
| Talk in front of the person as if they weren't present. E'er include them in any conversation when they are physically present. |
| Use lots of pronouns such as "at that place, that, him, it." Use nouns instead. For instance, instead of "Sit there," say: "Sit in the blue chair." |
Coping with changes in beliefs and personality
Also equally changes in communication during the centre stages of dementia, troubling behavior and personality changes can too occur. These behaviors include aggressiveness, wandering, hallucinations, and eating or sleeping difficulties that can be distressing to witness and make your function every bit caregiver even more difficult.
Ofttimes, these behavioral issues are triggered or exacerbated by your loved one's inability to bargain with stress, their frustrated attempts to communicate, or their environment. By making some elementary changes, you can aid ease your loved i'southward stress and better their well-beingness, along with your own caregiving experience.
[Read: Alzheimer's and Dementia Behavior Management]
Caregiving in the late stages of Alzheimer's or dementia
As Alzheimer'due south or another dementia reaches the late stages, your loved one volition probable require 24-hour care. They may be unable to walk or handle any personal intendance, have difficulty eating, exist vulnerable to infections, and no longer able to express their needs. Issues with incontinence, mood, hallucinations, and delirium are also very common.
In your role as caregiver, y'all'll probable be combining these new challenges with managing painful feelings of grief and loss and making hard end-of-life decisions. You may even be experiencing relief that your loved 1'south long struggle is drawing to an end, or guilt that you lot've somehow failed as a caregiver. As at the other stages of your caregiving journey, it's important to give yourself fourth dimension to adjust, grieve your losses, and gain acceptance.
[Read: Late Phase and End-of-Life Care]
Since the caregiving demands are so extensive in the later on stages, it may no longer exist possible for y'all to provide the necessary intendance for your loved one alone. If the patient needs total support for routine activities such as bathing, dressing, or turning, you may not be stiff enough to handle them on your own. Or you lot may experience that you're unable to ease their hurting or make them equally comfortable you'd like. In such cases, yous may want to consider moving them to a care facility such equally a nursing home, where they tin can receive high levels of both custodial and medical intendance.
Another option is hospice and palliative intendance. While some facilities provide hospice care onsite, it'due south more normally provided in the patient's own home. This allows your loved i to spend their final months in a familiar environment surrounded by family and friends, while you have the support of hospice staff to ensure your loved ane enjoys the best quality of intendance until the terminate.
Connecting in the late stages of care
Regardless of the late-phase care options yous choose, you can find a sense of advantage in your caregiving role by making time each day to really connect with your loved one. Even though they tin no longer verbally express love or appreciation, a late-stage Alzheimer'southward or dementia patient can still connect through their senses.
Avoid all distractions and focus fully on your loved one. Make eye contact (if that's possible), concur their hand or stroke their cheek, and talk in a calm, reassuring tone of voice. Too equally talking, you tin can also appeal to their senses by rubbing scented lotion into their skin, playing their favorite music, reading a meaningful book or poem to them, or viewing onetime photos together.
When you connect in this way, you'll experience a process that boosts mood, reduces stress, and supports physical and emotional well-being—for both you and your loved one.
Don't neglect your own needs
By always focusing so diligently on your loved 1's needs throughout the progression of their dementia, it's piece of cake to fall into the trap of neglecting your own welfare. If yous're non getting the physical and emotional support you need, you won't be able to provide the all-time level of care, and you're more likely to become overwhelmed and suffer burnout.
Program for your own care. Visit your md for regular checkups and pay attention to the signs and symptoms of excessive stress. Information technology's easy to abandon the people and activities you lot love when you're mired in caregiving, but you risk your health and peace of listen past doing so. Have time away from caregiving to maintain friendships, social contacts, and professional networks, and pursue the hobbies and interests that bring you joy.
[Read: Stress Management]
Talk to someone. Talk to a trusted friend, family member, clergy member, or therapist, about what you're going through. The uncomplicated human action of talking face-to-face with someone who cares tin can exist extremely cathartic—and a great stress reliever.
Stay agile. Regular practise not only keeps you fit, it releases endorphins that tin can really boost your mood. Aim for at to the lowest degree 30 minutes of practice on well-nigh days. If yous can't get away for that long at once, break the time upward into 10-minute sessions throughout the day.
Exercise a relaxation technique. Caregiving for a loved i with dementia can be one of the nigh stressful tasks you'll undertake in life. To combat this stress and boost your mood and energy levels, yous need to activate your body's natural relaxation response. Too as exercising and connecting face-to-face up with others, try relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga.
Source: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/alzheimers-dementia-aging/tips-for-alzheimers-caregivers.htm
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